Letters to no one.

Everything I did (you determine the start!), leading up to that exact point was all me.

And by me, I mean my head, and probably you too.

I'd just come out of being in a relationship, in which, yes!, everything amazing and everything a post-break-up affair should be!

I'm going to exclude the actual during and after effects of an affair where everyone is FRIENDS4LIFE until they do something wrong (and I won't say that I did not).

Then I get slapped in the face with what actual post-affair life is. If you don't get that who the heck else will?

Was I dick to people? Yes.

I don't feel like going through the motions right now, mainly because it's so far away here.

Were you and I equally awful communicators post-roomateship?

Hell yes.

Also, I took myself off of my meds in April 2012, but since I'm really good at being me, I never mentioned it, and as much as I'd like that to be an excuse for anything and everything, I felt, and knew, that you and I were already detaching. You told me your reasons in that email, but I felt it during the months leading up to being on the porch of 312 during Sandy.

That last part wasn't me being poetic or apologetic; it was me just saying things way way way after the fact.

I haven't had a crazy low blood sugar since the day I hugged you in very early May 2012 in the basement (yes, please!) , and I consciously carted myself off to Mamondies, and then brought you and J each $7.99 flowery plants from the Trader Joe's near the Fifth Avenue Center.

For someone who said "see you never" you see me a lot.