i know i owe a real update, but this is all i can muster:

NOAH KELLY SQUIRES!
a tuesday afternoon in may.

the mamma is to the left, she is my sister. our mamma, holding noah to the right.

i am in love, love, love.

when i say i'm in LOVE, you best believe i mean LOVE, L-U-V.

today?

today was magical.

well - it's been a month since a posting has gone up and even though me and terence have this 'back and forth' thing going on - i think a month is like a license to cheat - dont you? at any rate - i am cheating - and posting something - because this site is going to be a year old soon - and there is that sentimental bone in my body that wants this thing to continue to track the lives of both me and terence - but i also love that it is such an incredible record of my life over the last year - a record of me and terence bouncing our ideas and experiences off of one another - and a record of my shift from complete train wreck to post comps love filled sap - {dont get me wrong - i still have my 'days' but i am certainly not where i was a year ago} all this to say - that its time for a quick update -

things are still fab in loveland - eric is still a dream - and we are more in love every minute of everyday - long distance is difficult as you can imagine - but there are charming things about being able to tell the kids that we were living in diff cities when we met and so on - {yes kids...we are no fucking joke over here}and of course there is something incredible about meeting up in airport and train stations and bus stations all over the place - its such an incredible way to enter into a relationship on some level - and of course its not the optimal because i dont want to be away from him for one second for the rest of time - but i have to say that there is something beautiful in this experience that ought to be recognized and shared - call me a sap - but life is too short to be too embarrassed to share your sappy emotions - i love the guy - like alot!

other than that - things are still weird on the academic front - i am no longer manic but i fear that as soon as my toe sets down on dissertation land that i am going to go back to the complete meltdown that my comps once were for me - where i was reading and crying on a daily basis - where submitting comps was a painful and sickening {literally} experience - but i am going to see what i can do to prevent further academic breakdowns - maybe i just needed a mental break - and i certainly got one - or should i say - gave myself one - and thank my non-existent god for that

i am currently TAing this course on 'Motherhood and Mothering' - its a full year course condensed into six weeks so its the reading load of some of my grad courses because i am reading like a five hundred pages {at least} a week - PLUS novels - which is overwhelming but really good for me - its only been a week but i really like my bunch so far - they all have alot of really great things to say and are already critically thinking about ALOT of things - asking questions about how class, race, ability and sexuality all affect/mediate the experiences of mothers, kids, families and larger institutions - I even had a twenty minute convo with mom about the post WWII period and how my mothers own experience related to the ideas that we are talking about in this class - AMAZING, eh? me talking to mom about mothering, her experience AND get this, feminist theories of mothering - AMAZING is right!

and finally - its summer - finally - i know that in the 'real' world it's spring - but i am teaching a summer class and i dont need a thousand layers to step out into canadas painful winter - and that makes it summer in toronto - and its amazing to live here in the summer - its a ton of fun - drinking on patios - walking around without a destination or even in a hurry - its amazing what a painful warm winter will do to make you really appreciate summer {all the canadians are laughing at me now because i am calling toronto winter 'painful' but i didnt grow up in ottawa or st. john's or nothern manitoba - so i am a wimp - but its fucking cold here ok!}

so this picture is me giving toronto summer a thumbs up - cause it rules to be here when its like this outside - except when you have to do comps - stupid comps - always ruining everything -

so come visit friends - and see the wonders of a canadian summer!!!

i guess thats it - for now - i need to go read - and read and read -


terence my love -

the hypothetical ball is in your hypothetical court my love -