Letters to no one.

Everything I did (you determine the start!), leading up to that exact point was all me.

And by me, I mean my head, and probably you too.

I'd just come out of being in a relationship, in which, yes!, everything amazing and everything a post-break-up affair should be!

I'm going to exclude the actual during and after effects of an affair where everyone is FRIENDS4LIFE until they do something wrong (and I won't say that I did not).

Then I get slapped in the face with what actual post-affair life is. If you don't get that who the heck else will?

Was I dick to people? Yes.

I don't feel like going through the motions right now, mainly because it's so far away here.

Were you and I equally awful communicators post-roomateship?

Hell yes.

Also, I took myself off of my meds in April 2012, but since I'm really good at being me, I never mentioned it, and as much as I'd like that to be an excuse for anything and everything, I felt, and knew, that you and I were already detaching. You told me your reasons in that email, but I felt it during the months leading up to being on the porch of 312 during Sandy.

That last part wasn't me being poetic or apologetic; it was me just saying things way way way after the fact.

I haven't had a crazy low blood sugar since the day I hugged you in very early May 2012 in the basement (yes, please!) , and I consciously carted myself off to Mamondies, and then brought you and J each $7.99 flowery plants from the Trader Joe's near the Fifth Avenue Center.

For someone who said "see you never" you see me a lot.

I've crossed over the slick divide of twee, being thirty

For awhile this blog didn't have any focus coming out from my end, and then the other day, as I watched a kid get what I was talking about, I thought it might be interesting to write more frequently and with focus:  henceforth, I'd really like my writing to be based on my experiences in the NYC DOE as part of their student-teaching program.


I am at a small school in Brooklyn, and my co-operating teacher will be out for the rest of the week due to a terrible (and sadly cruel) twist of fate.  I thought today might be a good time to introduce the unit I would be teaching starting on 5 October, but half-way through the lesson I realized that they haven't even been tested on what they learned in the previous unit.  Fuck.


I emailed my supervising professor for his advice about the situation- mainly about should I even be teaching with a substitute with little mentoring skills in the room, and he went ahead and called the principal.


Now I'm meeting with the principal tomorrow morning for a temporary reassignment, and I have a sneaking suspicion that she might be a little angry that I went to my supervisor before her, but my co-op teacher had her accident on Friday and I wasn't told about any of this until I stepped into the classroom Tuesday morning at 830am.


Argh.  I've joked about this a few times already, but the joke is wearing thin:  the job of this student-teaching experience is to also teach me how to navigate the murky and dangerous waters of a gigantic bureaucracy, and if I'm not even on the payroll yet I must be in for a real fucking treat from what I can tell from this preview.


Hell yes.

I am seeing the BIG DUCK this Summer. Swell!